Dear Graduate,
I wish you a happy, healthy life
of enjoying every success as you define success. And I hope that along with
your success, you grow and nourish a humble heart for the opportunities
afforded you by the country of your birth; your nurturing, dedicated, gifted
birth family; and your race, gender, and unique combination of genes and
hormones, talent, and intelligence.
You won the lottery at birth, out
of no choice of your own. You no more deserved your good fortune than a talented,
intelligent female child of color deserves being born into a life of pain and
struggle in the crossfire of gun violence in a Chicago inner city neighborhood,
or to undocumented immigrant farm workers in California, or in a war-torn
country, or in a camp of starving refugees.
I believe wondering why
disparities like this exist is a waste of time, because no one can yet answer
these questions. If there is a God, a creator, it isn’t in our concept that
He/She would love a small percentage of babies any more than any of the other
children born into this world; however, there is a randomness in the course of
nature and evolution that scientists can quantify.
So as a student, a son, a brother,
a young man growing up, you have been spending your birth-fortune in ways that
will serve you well in college and throughout your life. And I hope as you move
forward in your life, you will continue to use your gifts wisely and
thoughtfully, with integrity, accountability, compassion, humility and
lovingkindness.
I can promise you from the perspective
of my seventy years of life, that when the deal starts going down, what
matters, what makes your life worthwhile, is not how popular or charismatic you
were or how many people loved you and found you to be worthy and valuable. It’s
not all the honors and standing ovations or the cards and congratulations you
received. It’s not all the money you made and the luxuries you enjoyed.
Instead, your life has meaning
through what you gave to others, human and non-human, through your acquired skills,
your abundance of privilege, and the lovingkindness in your heart. It’s about
what you contributed through your career achievements. It’s about what you gave,
not only to your family members, but more importantly, to those who were not
your family members, those less fortunate, maybe not as intelligent or talented
or likable as you, who didn’t have your opportunities of wealth, education, and
privilege, and who could never repay your gift to them in money or barter. In
truth, with less luck and good fortune, you could have been one of them.
And if you’re fortunate to live
long enough, you might learn of the good you have done when people who, after
many years have gone by, recognize you in a crowd or in a grocery store or a
restaurant and approach you with grateful tears in their eyes and thank you for
inspiring them to lead fulfilling lives; for helping them to become better
people or better workers; for teaching them skills; for mentoring them; for believing
in them and encouraging them; for opening a door for them when all doors were
closed; for giving them a leg up; for showing them love and respect in a way
that changed their lives.
It’s in those moments when you
realize that your life has transcended your human-ness; that even as you look
back at a road of burning embers of your mistakes, errors in judgment, missteps,
failures, shortcomings and regrets, your life has had purpose and meaning,
because in giving what you gave, someone else received the gift of a better
life.
These words are my graduation gift
to you. May you always express your appreciation to others for what they’ve
given you, and may your giving to others always come through a heart filled
with great love as you step into those opportunities to give, every step of
your way, throughout your life.
I wish you well.
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