And Then? And Then? And Then?

Today I asked the question on Facebook, "Where were you & what were you doing when you heard the news of OBL's death? My friend Becky Bolt responded, "I just now read it on FB. Obviously, I live in a box." Her answer made me think about what I'm paying attention to and why, and whether it's important in my life.  

Throughout my childhood, my mother complained loudly in front of me, to anyone who would listen, that I wouldn't sleep or settle down to a task because I was afraid I'd miss something. Was she reflecting her own sense of "missing something" onto me?

So much is going on in my neighborhood, my city, the state, this country and the world--And then there's outer space! I don't want to miss anything--after all, I might miss the party!

All the years I performed music on the road, I was sure I was missing the party! I just knew something was going on somewhere else that if I knew about it, I'd rather be there. I never thought that I might be the party, or at least at the party. Did all those people who came to hear our band and spend time with their friends drinking and dancing think they'd missed the party? Or did they think they were the party?

I spent the last two years grading online English class assignments for my students, knowing for sure there was a world outside my window and a life that was passing me by. Now that I'm not teaching (at least right now), I still know I'm missing the party! The evidence is everywhere. My friend Marilyn gave the Sunday talk at the New Way yesterday. I missed it. My friend Sharon performed with her dulcimer group at the Cocoa Beach Library yesterday. I missed it. One of my favorite musicians, Bo Frazer, performed with a bluegrass group at a public place yesterday, and I love bluegrass music and Bo's fiddling. I missed it. My life is dragging me behind it! I can't catch up with it!

Is knowing everything and showing up everywhere necessary? Is the party always somewhere else and I have to keep searching for it? Am I spending time cluttering up my mind listening to useless information and paying attention to things that have nothing to do with me and the important relationships in my life or the practicalities of living my life?

The questions I would like to ask myself before I choose to spend the precious lifetime I have left are these: 

• Am I paying attention to something that will impact my immediate life? 
• Could I take action that might change it? 
• Who or what needs attention in my immediate life, in order of priority of importance to me?

It's all about being mindful of what we are paying attention to, making choices and setting priorities, and staying focused on what is really important to us. Living life well and doing everything that is ours to do requires discipline and focus--like being in a box!

Unfortunately, discipline and focus leave out two elements that I'm afflicted with: curiosity about all of the stories unfolding everywhere, and fear that I'm going to miss something important, including, yes--the party!

Janis Ian told a group of songwriters that a song must keep answering the question, "And then?" "And then?" "And then?" I have a mind that keeps on asking that question about everything. Have you noticed that living stories don't have an end?