Simply Magic!

Remember the song from the movie Smokey and the Bandit? I sang it in my nightclub act back when it first came out.

"Eastbound and down
Loaded  up and truckin'
We're gonna do what they say can't be done
We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there
Just put that hammer down and give it hell!" (last line from another verse of the song)

If there was any theme running through my life, it would be those words. Looking back over my 68 years, I've gone a long way in a short time, and I've done what no one, including me, would have predicted I could or would do. Like the last line, borrowed from another verse, I let 'er rip and the power and momentum of life took over. Even today, hours, days, weeks, and months continue to whizz by as life works its own magic.

I wrote my testimony to the working of this phenomenon in three previous blog posts titled "Perchance to Dream," ("Perchance to Dream, Pt. I") which also became the first chapter in my book, Life with a Buckskinner. It's the story of how a vision, a fantasy I had came about exactly as I fantasized it, but not until I endured eight years of consequences of poor choices and painful, unpredictable events. Most people I've talked to have had something like this happen in their lives. 

If I were into explaining the mysteries of life as "facts," I'd insert concepts like "God" or "the Universe" in place of "life." I'd say that I "let go and let God," and "God works in mysterious ways." I'd say that I'm a co-creator with God. I'd believe that events happen for a "reason," implying some other entity's reason that gives a meaning to life that I can't yet comprehend, or might become aware of in time. I'd say that things happen "on God's clock," in "God's time," in "God's way."

But I don't explain life like that. That isn't to say that what I don't know doesn't exist or isn't someone else's reality. It's just that I try not to spin my own explanations for things I don't know anything about. I can see how events in my life strung themselves together into a great story. "Better than the Best" is the song I wrote about that, recorded on my Spiritland album. I simply say, life is what it is. There's acceptance in that, and yes, resignation.

I have New Age friends and energy healers whose views I respect but don't hold for myself. They might believe, even if they don't say so aloud, that my diagnosed leukemia is an illusion that I've somehow allowed into my life, either by submitting to the belief of its reality, or by some unconscious consent, or by a contract I made with the Universe before I was born. In other words, leukemia is not real. I caused it or allowed it, and therefore I'm to blame for being bothered by it. If I would just eat the right foods or allow them to do Reiki on me, or commit to a multitude of other practices and beliefs, leukemia and maybe even old age itself would magically disappear. To them I say that every person has a lifespan. All humans and non humans will eventually die. Stop blaming yourself and others for that fact and focus on living in your best story.

Twelve-step programs teach us to not manipulate circumstances. I look back and see my misguided, futile struggles to turn other people and my own life events around to fit my mostly-distorted beliefs. Even without struggling to manipulate ourselves and others, there are challenges we must take on in life for no good reason except that we're passionate about them. They are simply ours to do--things that are difficult, things we do because we can and because our hearts tell us we must. Lining up our action and intent with our passion and love is different from manipulating, I believe. Following our hearts gives us happiness and a sense of fulfillment, while efforts to manipulate, even our attempts to get others to love us, cause confusion and chaos for ourselves and others.

One good example of this dilemma is the presidential election coming up. Do I vote for the candidate who speaks the exact language of my values and beliefs, or do I vote for one candidate who might more represent me than the other, even though both have proven they can't be trusted to speak for me? I have a friend who wants to support a candidate that he will not vote for, just to get that candidate nominated in the primary, in order to give his actual choice of candidate a better chance of winning the election. I'm sure others are doing the same, but I wonder if it wouldn't be simpler on the psyche just to financially support and vote for the exact candidate you want. If everyone did that, we could turn over some tables and chairs in our system that might lead to our taking back our democracy from large corporations, by whom most of our elected leaders are paid and for whom they are working. My choice, for my highest and best, is to live a straightforward, simple life from my heart, knowing that I alone can't control or redirect the course of the flowing river of life.

A week before Christmas I wrote a check to pay my property taxes. The last thing I remember is licking the envelope flap and pressing it down to seal it. Hours later I remembered that I wanted to pay my property taxes on that day, but what did I do with the envelope? The mail had already been picked up, and the envelope wasn't with the new mail. I looked everywhere in my house for it and finally gave up. I don't remember putting that envelope in the mailbox and raising the red flag, but a few days later, my online checking account showed that the check had been received and cashed.

This isn't the first time I've lost something or not remembered. I could be scared, but instead, I choose to acknowledge the gift of this period of my life as I slide down the slope. I now have absolute proof of what twelve-step programs, organized religion, and great spiritual leaders have always taught: life is and always has been a big magic trick. It happens without my memory, understanding, or consent. I don't have a crystal ball to predict my future, but living life can be just as simple as doing what's mine to do next. That won't make everything comfortable or okay, or even my way, and I won't survive this life, but hey, I'm still on a full-speed run with the hammer down, givin' it hell!