"I'm nominating you for induction into Canton's Women's Hall of Fame in the category of The Arts," Marilyn announced to me in our phone conversation just before Christmas. I was honored by her resolve, but knew that residence in Canton, Ohio, where she lives, is a requirement for nominees.
Canton is my hometown where I returned for four years to take care of my elderly stepmother and autistic, retarded stepsister. While there, I wrote and recorded a theme song for the Women's Hall of Fame awards banquet and for two years in a row, I provided the dinner music during the banquet and listened to many acceptance speeches. In 2008 I moved back to Florida to be with my mother in the final months of her life.
Just knowing I wouldn't qualify as a nominee wasn't enough to keep me from fantasizing about having such a high honor bestowed on me by my peers, and I wondered what I might say in an acceptance speech. What follows is what I would have said to them and what I would say now to the readers of this blog.
I know you don't need my advice on how to live a successful life, especially since I'm not in the ranks of financially successful or famous people. Among all of the songs I've written and recorded, my song, "Sunday Blessing" was the only one that found its way to prime time TV, in an ABC "World News Now" broadcast. I don't know how they found my song out of the millions of tracks on the Internet. I learned they'd played it when BMI sent me a check for $60 with the details of time and place written on the check.
My cockatiel Pookie and I are in a segment of "Planet's Funniest Animals" in 2002. He's on my shoulder and I'm saying, "Pookie? How does the rooster go?" He lowers his head, then raises up and makes a throaty crowing sound, "er er-er er-errrr," that I taught him. Then I say, "Good boy!" Together, my song and Pookie add up to 2 minutes of TV-time "fame."
Although I doubt that anyone would look at me and my life and consider me to be happy or successful, I share the following principles as a way of giving you an opportunity to reflect on what has brought you to this time and place in your life--what has worked for you. Here are seven principles that have allowed me to be a better creator throughout my life.
1. I woke up on the dark, rainy morning of May 20, 2007, with a heavy, sinking feeling in my body, a feeling of dread and shame, an absolute certainty that what I was about to do that day would be a failure that would make me the target of ridicule and shame for the rest of my life. I couldn't know for sure exactly why, or what might happen, but I knew this would be a very bad day!
Still, I put on my slinky silky silvery showgirl dress from my years in my Las Vegas showband in the 1980's. With bobby pins and barretts, I anchored my long-haired wig to my pony tail. I glued false eyelashes to the rim of my eyelids. I carried my amp, speakers and tape recorder to my car, groaned as I heaved them into the trunk, closed the trunk lid, and headed for the Civic Center, to the Spring Senior Fair.
A few months before, the staff at The Pines, the nursing home where my stepmother was being lovingly cared for, asked me for my ideas for their booth for the fair. They'd won the prize money for the most outstanding booth the year before, and the only idea they'd thought of for this year's fair with its New Orleans theme was to have me sing. I suggested they set up a storefront for a stripper's club in the French Quarter.
So there I was on the morning of the fair, slinky and a bit bulgy, singing stripper songs to music tracks I'd created, in a gaudy booth surrounded by ladies of the night serving lemonade to passers-by. As smiling people gathered to listen to me, that bad feeling changed to a euphoric "Wow! This is FUN!" "How old are you?" younger women asked me throughout the day. When I told them I was 63, they all said, "I hope I'm still sexy like you when I'm your age!" At the end of the day, The Pines won the top prize for the second year in a row, and one morning a few weeks later when I drove up to the nursing home to visit my stepmother, a bunch of the staff women were leaning out an office window calling me in to surprise me with a generous check.
This true story illustrates my first principle: I shake hands with my demons and step over them. They're here to stay, but I don't have to base my actions on them. I do my life anyway, no matter what.
2. I say "Yes" more often than "No." I'm always surprised to find unexpected opportunities in the most unexpected places.
3. I see myself as a life-long learner, and I've been willing to spend the time and focus my attention to develop skills that will help me to be a better creator. I regret that I haven't had time to learn more, but what I don't know has forced me to seek others who do know, which allows for the all-important collaboration with others (see #5).
4. I look for the truth in everything, realizing that my own thinking often deceives me! When I'm sure I don't know the truth, I resist making up a story about it. I'm comfortable living in the mystery of the unknown. Living in the mystery has brought me a new peace of mind. It takes energy to have to explain every unknowable thing.
5. I cannot accomplish my best work alone. It takes others. We're walking the paths of those who taught us, lifted us, supported us, enhanced our visions. Creating requires focus, intent, vision, teamwork, and time alone. Others have to bring our work into the light. And once in the light, those who experience our work become the critics and determine what happens to what we've created.
6. I love my creations into existence. Much like a parent adores a child, I create with an attitude of unconditional love, not only for the creative process, but for the end result of my efforts, even as I strive to perfect that result. I will never give a perfect performance or write the perfect story, but a decision to love my work opens a window of happiness in my heart. My inner critic has a specific role in the creative process, not to make me miserable and filled with disgust and disappointment for my work, but instead to give me the humility to always strive to do better and to always ask for help. Depression will cause my inner critic to become too prominent and "believable." At those times, I continue to work on my projects to make them better and release them when I believe they're ready.
7. We're all the creators of our lives. For me, writing songs and stories, performing music, and drawing cartoons is like breathing. Knowing I can still do these things makes me want to go on living. My final principle is that I must continue to create. Every single day.
What speech would you give if you were given an achievement award for your life's work? What are the principles that guide your life, that make you a better creator?
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